Ode to my pants

By Scott "Q" Marcus

Mirror, mirror in my room

It’s time to start my daily groom

In previous days, we’ve oft locked horns

Yet adorning myself ‘twill be different this morn

I’ve followed my diet so sure and sound

My middle no longer as wide around

Trying clothes from the closet, I used to hate

With newfound pride, I do not hesitate

My favorite pants are top of the list

Compliments formerly heard have been sorely missed

I yank the trousers around my waist

Anticipating grand results, I dress with haste

At first my feelings are somewhat confused

These pants are too tight; I am bemused

Inhaling deeply, my stomach sucks in

“What’s this?” I wonder. “I’m not yet thin?”

I fuss, twist, stretch, and try to zip

Oh my goodness, did fabric rip?

Standing on tiptoes, trying to be taller

I suppose this should make my tummy smaller

I lift my stomach with one hand

The other is used to secure the band

I reach inside to find the tab

It will not go; still too much flab

I lie down on the bed upon my back

It seems I must try an alternate tack

I heave the snap into its place

Exhausted from effort, sweat covers my face

Rolling carefully and trying to rise

I begin to wonder about my size

It seems I have the slacks on now

Breathing would be nice; I’m not sure how

Stiff-legged I stand upon the floor

Success will be mine if I can reach the door

Like a movie monster, I lurch, not walk

My pants are so snug; I cannot talk

My stomach pains; I cannot bend

“Overstuffed sausage” described my rear end

The button in front is ready to burst

Better do something quickly or expect the worst

Falling against the closet, I remove my clothes

My stomach expands I can feel my toes

Relief comes quickly; blood starts flowing

These pants won’t fit without loads of sewing

Sadly the truth I have to admit

If I wish to wear trousers when I sit

I’m exhausted, tired, and feeling blue

Maybe I’m not yet a 32

Handling the food addiction

By Scott "Q" Marcus

He was celebrating four years of sobriety. When I asked how he knew it was time to initially seek help, he said, “I finally realized I had no control over alcohol. I thought about it all the time. I couldn’t wait to drink. I was obsessed with it.” As I listened, I thought, “Substitute the ‘food’ for ‘alcohol,’ and that’s me.” It was one of the triggers in getting me to lose my weight.

It was also the instant I realized that overeating is every bit as much of an addiction as drugs or alcohol.

We don’t like to think of overeating as an addiction for several reasons. First of all, it’s part of the norm to eat too much. That would make us a country of addicts, and true as that might be, we sure don’t want to admit it. Moreover, there are no age restrictions, you can do it in public, and it’s legal. Eating too much might make you fat, but a cop won’t pull you over for a 300-triglyceride level, it won’t cause you to black out, nor do unwise things you’ll regret with morning’s light.

Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary defines addiction as, “persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be physically, psychologically, or socially harmful.” Let’s be clear; when you’re hiding goodies in your purse, lying on the bed to tighten your belt, or avoiding social gatherings because you’re afraid of the reactions; it’s a safe bet you’ve met the entry qualifications for addicted.

The bigger problem is, unlike the more nefarious addictions, we cannot “just say no.” As difficult as it might be, an alcoholic can swear off booze, and a smoker can refuse cigarettes. We, however, must continue to indulge while learning to set arbitrary, always shifting, sometimes ill defined limits about what constitutes “too far.”

Sure, a half-gallon of ice cream is a pretty clear violation of self-control. One could say the same for a quart, maybe. But where do we draw the line? Is a cup all right? What about two? To the alcoholic, an ounce is too much. For us, where does it start?

Let’s set the stage: A healthy, thin person consoles herself after a rough day with “chocolate therapy,” downing a pint of fudge-brownie-chocolate chunk ice cream and a couple of devil’s food cookies as a chaser. After sharing with her co-workers the next day, they all laugh knowingly.

“I’ve been there,” says one, “Sometimes, you just need to go with it.”

No one thinks she’s addicted. She looks great. She’s healthy (albeit sporting a humongous sugar buzz). Yet, when I do the same actions for the same reasons, I’m out of control?

See, it’s not really about the overeating, but the internal dialog. A healthy personality analyzes the calorie overload and thinks, “Well, that was over the top. I better cut back tomorrow” — and she does, regaining her balance.

The food addict blows it out of proportion, thinking, “Oh my God! I blew it! How could I do this? This is awful! I can’t believe what an idiot I am!” Berating her very worth as a human being she finally decides she’s a complete failure. With that observation, she gives herself permission to let herself totally go and accelerates over the cliff.

Yeah, we’ve got issues. Yeah, it stinks. But handling mistakes is part of the process.  If guilt and shame were motivational, we’d be skinny as rails. It’s not about perfection. Everyone slips up; success will be determined in how we handle it afterwards.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-- Reprinted with permission by Scott "Q" Marcus. Scott will be the keynote speaker at the Lighten Up SGV Community Weigh-In Event on January 28, 2012. He is a THINspirational speaker who presents to groups across the country who are looking to uplift their attitudes so they can be happier and healthier. In addition to speaking, Scott has a weekly syndicated column, “Striving for Imprefection,” that is now in its seventh year, and he is the founder and CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, a supportive community for people who are tired of making commitments they don’t keep and who want to finally get past what’s holding them back.

5 Things You Can Do To Be Happier And More Successful Starting NOW

By Scott "Q" Marcus

Improving oneself is not difficult. It might be uncomfortable. It might be slow; but difficult? Not so much. Figure out what you want to change; figure out a way to do it, move in that direction, correct as necessary.

So why don't most people change? The unadorned answer is we make it too complicated. The simpler the plan, the more likely we will accomplish it. To that end, here is a straightforward Five-Step Plan to move forward immediately.

1) Write it down

There's nothing magic to this, but once done, it makes it “real.” It also helps if we don't just write down what we want but why we want it. Emotions drive action. Logic directs it.  As example, "I will lose weight to lower my blood pressure," is not as effective as "I will lose weight to feel better." As they say in sales, “We buy what we want, not necessarily what we need.” We need to “sell” ourselves on why we want it more than why we should do it.

2) Make it Small

Small steps done regularly generate better results than large steps done intermittently. In other words, it's better to get out a walk a block - and really do it - than to swear you're going to run a mile and plant yourself on the couch. We have to "squeeze" new activities into an already crowded life so the less we have to rearrange, the more likely we’ll be consistent. Ten or 15-minutes with consistency is better than “an occasional hour.”

3) Do Something Every Day

No matter how small the step, do SOMETHING each day, even if it’s simply refining what we wrote. Maintaining top-of-mind awareness retrains our thoughts to focus differently. That alone causes us to notice previously unseen opportunities.

Of course, there are days when “life happens” and we cannot move forward, which can bring out our critical inner perfectionists and we are inclined to think, "As long as I blew it, I might as well really blow it. I'll start again tomorrow.” This leads to undoing our progress. It’s important to remember everyone stumbles; progress is two steps forward and one step backwards.

4) Get Support

There are things we do well and there are things we want to do well. Making life-changes falls in the latter category, not the former. After all, if we were accomplished at our goals, we would have already achieved them. Building a network of support can guide and direct us when we feel lost, and applaud us when we aren’t. There is always more power in a group than in a single person (for better or worse).

One other benefit to group support is it "shuts the back door." Too often, we don't tell people our goals because if do, we have to actually change. Well, short of the fact that you can change your mind, announcing our plans does make us more committed to achieving them. Keeping them “quiet” allows us to back down quicker, which prompts the question, “Am I really committed to this?” (a discussion left for another column)

5) Reward Yourself Often

Change is as much emotional as it is physical. Holding off the goodies from our "inner kid," makes us feel like we’ve got one more chore in an already tedious life. We get resentful and quit. If however, we can make it more fun, we’re more inclined to keep at it Life is short, enjoy it - and remind yourself more often of the pleasures.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Reprinted with permission by Scott "Q" Marcus. Scott will be the keynote speaker at the Lighten Up SGV Community Weigh-In Event on January 28, 2012. He is a THINspirational speaker who presents to groups across the country who are looking to uplift their attitudes so they can be happier and healthier. In addition to speaking, Scott has a weekly syndicated column, “Striving for Imprefection,” that is now in its seventh year, and he is the founder and CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, a supportive community for people who are tired of making commitments they don’t keep and who want to finally get past what’s holding them back.